if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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