i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
worst night to have a conscience
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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