I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
