So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
