ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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