she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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