That's intense
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
