that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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