She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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