I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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