When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
