i just wanna soil my oats bro
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
