Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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