You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Damn victory sex feels great
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize