I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
