i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
