Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
