and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
