There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
