I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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