Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
