you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
