Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
and i looked up. we had an audience...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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