I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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