I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
