Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
