ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
