Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
