All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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