I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
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