is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
