No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
