The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Small penises have feelings too.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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