I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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