im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I think I died a long time ago.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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