You're so nebulous sometimes
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
