I hope mine doesn't look like that
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
