I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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