how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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