i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
