I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
