so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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