I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
