Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
