Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
