at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
