textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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