Only a mothe r could love this liver
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
