There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
