There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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