Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
